Free Mind from shoddy Mindsets

Tomorrow is Independence Day. It is raining on and off in my city, from past three days. Needless to say, it has left roads in a horrible state. No, my intention is not to write about the improper drainage system, inefficiency of governance and freedom with which obnoxious nexus between contractors and ‘sarkari babus’ , openly and brazenly, misuse the exchequer’s money. A lot has been written about all that by many people.
Well, While inching through these water logged roads last evening, few things worried me deeply about where we were heading as society. At the same time, few memories of earlier read works came flashing to mind that I could relate to with the situation. It was shocking to see that even in this situation people were honking horns and were trying to overtake from any side. Independence had given them this right to do freely whatever they thought was in best of their interest.
Balraj Sahni a famous Hindi actor, writer and thinker who belonged to rare class of intellectual actors, once narrated this incident in an excellent convocation address at JNU in 1972 . He recounted “I was going by bus from Rawalpindi to Kashmir with my family to enjoy the summer vacation. Half-way through we were halted because a big chunk of the road had been swept away by a landslide caused by rain the previous night. We joined the long queues of buses and cars on either side of the landside. Impatiently we waited for the road to clear. It was a difficult job for the P.W.D. and it took some days before they could cut a passage through. During all this time the passengers and the drivers of vehicles made a difficult situation even more difficult by their impatience and constant demonstration. Even the villagers nearby got fed up with the high-handed behavior of the city-walas.

One morning the supervisor declared the road open. The green- flag was waved to the drivers. But we saw a strange sight. No driver was willing to be the first to cross. They just stood and stared at each other from either side. No doubt the road was a make-shift one and even dangerous.  A mountain on one side, and a deep gorge and the river below, both were forbidding. The engineer in-charge had made a careful inspection and had opened the road with a full sense of responsibility. Still, nobody was prepared to trust his judgment, although these same people till yesterday, had accused him and his department of laziness and incompetence. Half an hour passed by in dumb silence. Nobody moved. Suddenly we saw a small green sports car approaching. An Englishman was driving it; sitting all by himself. He was a bit surprised to see so many parked vehicles and the crowd there. I was rather conspicuous, wearing my smart jacket and trousers. "What's happened?" he asked me.

I told him the whole story. He laughed loudly, blew the horn and went straight ahead, crossing the dangerous portion without the least hesitation.

And now the pendulum swung the other way. Everybody was so eager to cross that they got into each other's way and created a new-confusion. This hurry to crossover before others from both sides created chaos and road was blocked again for few hours. The noise of hundreds of engines and hundreds of horns was unbearable. That day I saw with my own eyes the difference in attitudes between a man brought up in a free country and a man brought up in an enslaved one. A free man has the power to think, decide, and act for himself. But the slave loses that power. He always borrows his thinking from others, wavers in his decisions, and more often than not only takes the trodden path 
“Chitto jetha bhayashunyo (Where the mind is without fear) , written by Gurudeb Rabindranath Tagore is among one of the most quoted poems . It was written before India's independence and every line of it represents Tagore's vision of free-thinking, aware, undivided and vibrant India.
"Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action --
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake."

Independence has given us not only freedom of speech but also a power to think and act. While the former has been used quite eloquently the other two have somehow remained dormant beneath pity shallowness and self interest. How horrifying it is to see the madness of educated and financially well off individuals to somehow get ahead of others without realizing that they were blocking the traffic coming from other side and were only adding to miseries of self and others. If there is a vegetable seller pushing his cart hard through the rain water and from comfort of my car I blow horn urging him to speed up then I definitely should not count myself in human category .As Mahatma Gandhi said “It passes my comprehension how human beings, be they ever so experienced and able, can delight in depriving other human beings of that precious right.”
To quote Stephen R. Covey “You have the freedom to choose your actions, you don't have the freedom to choose the consequences of your actions”. Why have we become so passive and so indifferent towards consequences of our actions? Why such insensitivity? Why such nonchalance? Why are we not able to accept or reject thoughts in accordance with our own will ? Why someone has to impose,dictate or tell us about consequences of cutting the branch on which we are sitting? Despite all the peppy doses of education, why has our conscience gone into hibernation mode?
The biggest faculty of human existence is mind and the virtue of free will.Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom. The power to choose, to respond, to change. There is fire in all of us and our capability constructive and destructive extreme is infinite but it is for each individual on the basis of his reasoning and ethics to decide how he wants to use the fire within him. This independence day should not we pledge to rekindle that spark and tell our leaders that we love our nation and it is high time that they as well……

Why are we, the way we are?

In this post, I am trying to analyze psychological influence on complexity of human nature and behavior. It might help not only to develop a greater self-awareness but also in enhanced understanding and  acceptance of fellow humans.

Understanding of human nature is definitely far more complex than that of computers and robots. Unlike robots, human response to stimulus is not solely controlled by the logic and programs. The reason for complexity lies in the fact that we the humans, besides having a logical mind also possess a compassionate heart that is capable of feelings, emotions and sentiments. Our brain subconsciously makes a simultaneous record not only of events but also of feelings that are associated with these experiences. Two gel together and decide our response to the situations that we face in life.

There are variety of viewpoints in psychology that attempt to explain personality formations and human behavior each has its exclusivity yet each suffers from certain pitfalls .In this post I mainly focus on “Transactional Analysis” in uncomplicated and lucid form.

In its simplest form theory of transactional analysis is based on PAC model that divide the ego states of human into Parent Adult and Child domains. Stored in the PARENT domain are the advice and admonishments that we receive from our caretakers and elders in our early childhood. CHILD domain contains our reactions to those advice that are often unexpressed but lie recorded somewhere in psyche. The ADULT state, undoubtedly the most important one is the recording of our experiences based on our actions .In a nutshell, Parent relates to teachings, adult to thinking and child to feeling. In a balanced human being these three domains should be separate and should not overshadow one another.

Consider a situation .Every parent teaches the value of truth to their offspring and ‘never lie’ is one advice probably everyone has heard in childhood. Now when the phone rings on a Sunday morning and father tells the child to inform the caller that “papa is not at home”. It is not safe for child to ask the parent that why is he being asked to lie? At this instance a feeling is definitely aroused in child that is in conflict to the advice stored in the parent. In later part of life experiences may teach us that sometimes it becomes imperative to lie. The difference is some people lie for their own convenience and some lie only to avoid a discomfort or pain to someone else and this is where values come into picture. This degree of transgression and perversion is decided by adult according to their affordability of truth.

In language of psychoanalysis a question is called Transaction Stimulus from ‘Agent’ and reaction from the other person called the ‘Respondent’ is named Transaction Response. A ‘Game’ is an ongoing series of complementary transactions visible or concealed progressing to a well-defined, predictable outcome. Mostly a game is dishonest, and the outcome has a dramatic quality. On the other hand an ‘Operation’ is a set of transactions undertaken for a specific, stated purpose. Let me simplify with example, if someone frankly asks for advice or opinion and gets it, that is an operation. On the other hand If someone asks for advice and after it is given it is contradicted or turned in some way to the disadvantage of the giver, that is a game. Here adult of respondent is trying to defeat the parent subconsciously. Outwardly, a game looks like a set of operations, but after the result it becomes apparent that these operations were really maneuvers and what appeared as honest request was but a move in the game. You can experience the game when next time you get a call from some financial company agent who sounds too concerned for your physical and financial health while at the root he is trying “To make a kill” to complete his business target.

All effective and successful communications must be complementary. It must be a two way process between the receiving ego state to the sending ego state. For example, if the stimulus is Parent to Child, the response must be Child to Parent, or the transaction is called ‘crossed’ which results in an ineffective communication that upset either one or both parties. Continuous crossed transaction lead to break-downs in relationships. Wise people realize this in time and instead of winning battle of tongue settle to triumph with heart.

Robert R. Brown has aptly observed that “Man is always inclined to be intolerant towards the thing, or person, he hasn't taken the time adequately to understand” An understanding of Psychology helps you understand others and more than that your own self .As famous psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung, says “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” I firmly believe that every parent and teacher should have basic knowledge of psychology to avoid the scars on souls of children. Our actions and words have great influence on the next generation. To illustrate and link upbringing with our seemingly innocuous actions and words let me site one more example from my earlier posts written in Hindi. The first steps of every toddler are a moment of joy for every mother and we know that falling is an inevitable part of process of learning to walk. Have you noticed the reaction of mothers when the child falls after taking a first few steps? Some mothers stand at their place and motivate the child to come to her, child may be crying but she encourages the baby to continue and come to her. Love is showered on the baby when he or she accomplishes the task of reaching the mother. By doing this the mother has indirectly taught the child the importance of accomplishing the task that is initiated. In contrast many mothers may go and pick the child, because they can’t see the baby crying, but then will that baby not look for care and support every time he faces a hurdle. The worst reaction is that of a mother who runs to pick up the child and then beats the floor and accuses the floor of making her baby fall. Such people will generally blame someone else for their mistake.

I came across this story Written by Barbara Dunlap , I can't resist the temptation to share it with you .....

Once there was a very small person who had feelings. He had many feelings and felt them every day. His family liked him when he showed his feelings, so the very small person started to wear his feelings on his sleeve. One day one of the small person's parents said that they didn't like to see the FEAR feeling anymore, so the small person tried to pull it off. The parent said that they would give the small person some TOUGH to cover over their FEAR. The small person found it very difficult to cover the FEAR with the TOUGH, so the other parent and the grandparents all helped. It took many days. "Now you look wonderful," said the parents when it was done. "We've covered some of your feelings with TOUGH, and you'll grow into a strong person."

The small person grew a little older and found a friend. The friend also wore his feelings on sleeve. The friend said one day, "My parents want me to cover up my LONELY feelings, and to be different from now on." And they were. The small person decided to cover over his LONELY feelings too, and he also  got ANGRY from another adult. The small person put big patches of ANGRY on top of their LONELY. It was hard work to cover over the LONELY feelings.

One day when the small person (who was now not so small) went to school some of his LONELY feelings started to show. So the teacher kept him behind and gave him some GUILT to cover his LONELY feelings. Sometimes when alone at night the person would look at his feelings. He would pull off the TOUGH and ANGRY and GUILT to look at his LONELY and FEAR. Then he would have to take a long time putting the TOUGH, ANGRY and GUILT back again.

One night the person noticed that his LONELY and FEAR were growing, and beginning to stick out from under the patches. So the person had to go out to find some more ANGRY to cover the LONELY, and got all the TOUGH that his parents could spare to cover his FEAR.

The person grew older and became very popular because everyone said that he could hide his feelings well. The person's parents said one day that he had a PROUD feeling because the person had been so TOUGH. But the person could not find anywhere to put the PROUD feeling because the TOUGH was getting so big. The person had trouble finding room on his  sleeve for any other feelings - the TOUGH and the ANGRY were all that showed.

Then after a time the person met another person and they became friends. They thought that they were a lot alike because they both had only TOUGH and ANGRY feelings that showed. One day the friend told the person a secret: "I'm not really like you - my TOUGH and ANGRY are only patches to cover over my LONELY and my FEAR." The friend pulled back the edge of his TOUGH and showed the person his FEAR; just for a second.

The person sat quietly and did not speak. Then carefully he too pulled back the edge of his TOUGH and showed his FEAR. The friend saw the LONELY underneath. Then the friend gently reached out and touched the person's FEAR, and then the LONELY....... The friend's touch was like magic. A feeling of ACCEPTANCE appeared on the person's sleeve, and the TOUGH and ANGRY had become smaller. The person then knew that whenever someone gave him ACCEPTANCE, he would need less TOUGH, and then there would be more room to show PROUD..... SAD ....... LOVING.... STRONG.... GOOD.... WARM... HURT... FEAR......
Isn't that lovely  ? Every parent every guardian and every teacher should read and try to understand the essence of this story .One good thing that pope had said was  “To do violence to emotions is the worst crime one can do, sometimes it is worse than killing”. So next time you want to say “You are wrong”,  please note that “I don’t agree" means nearly the same and “You have not sent” and “I have not received” convey the same meaning. You can’t be nice to everyone but at least be kind to everyone as everyone is fighting one’s own battle of life and for many it is not easy. 
 Human mind, soul and heart, so eccentric yet so beautiful. As a urdu poet says

"Nahin dekha kahin jalwa jo dekha khana-e dil mein

Bahut kabe mein sar mara bahut dhoonda kabine mein"

This translated into simple English means " I am yet to see anything more divine as human heart , after I have searched and bowed my head at all the mosques and temples for majesty".

I wonder if there could be anything which is more easily destructible than human soul...????

Unexplored wealth of land and mind

The starting of the Mangla oil project which is likely to earn good revenues for Rajasthan is very welcome. Come to think of it, what lies behind the mega success is the appetite for risk, vision and human determination smoldering to succeed. Cairn Energy bought these belts from shell who thought it was not possible to get any yield from this land, so, what one saw as an opportunity the other found insignificant.

Any research, any exploration starts with an idea and vision .If it fails it teaches us lessons and if it succeeds, state puts tax on it. Discussing need, level of tax and how to improve efficacy of hard earned money of tax payer is another matter which will deviate me from main purpose of this post. Here what I am trying to suggest is the Government should play a proactive role and let the entrepreneurs, engineers and scientist do their job. Human mind cannot function to best of its ability when shackled by invisible chains in form of controls and regulations.

There is a drastic need to provide impetus to entrepreneurship and research if we want to be self dependent and self reliant. Times have changed and many of the controls and regulations have become irrelevant. We are not into the days where we need a supervisor with a whip to control the manual laborer from scrounging. These are the times to promote and give wings to young minds with dreams, to provide them with facilities for research and exploration so that they can do for India what they otherwise do for cairns, shells, Intel’s and Bell labs and then, we can be owners rather than being tax extractors. It is the wealth of our land and our minds which is deservedly ours but sadly we are content only with the topping of royalty and taxes.

Well, what goes wrong why we are content to follow? Why do we still look to west for discovery? Why don’t we promote research in real sense? Why is our education only symbolic? Why is 95% of our researchers’ content to cut and paste work of other people? Why are our guides not very particular and stringent about originality? Where are we headed by making a brigade of degree holders who will only agitate and block ways for reservations and jobs because they don’t know their subject and are not expert in their chosen area. Education system has not developed their mind because degree is handed to them on platter on name of reducing stress. Questions too many answers bleak………

Best minds capable of originality and thought, still leave us. With opening of economy they can be located in India but still they are not ours. Why? Money is important but more essential is freedom of human mind .You can’t put shackles of so many norms and procedures and expect a fertile mind to produce. The problem with the government today is it wants to put its nose in everything it sees profitable till it becomes liability. I am not advocating a total ‘laissez-faire’, because I feel our society is not ready for it and there is a promiscuous absence of national character in an average Indian.

Thought is a complex process of recognition and incorporation, which unfortunately lacks in present system of training people. This is the reason why people are prepared to imitate and follow and are content with the salary they get at the end of month for switching on and off their machines.

Please develop thought and rationality rather than being eluded by whims and unfounded beliefs. If we remove the thought then the link between a human and trained animal will also be lost .Stagnant mind then, like stagnant water will only breed reptiles prepared and content to crawl and sting.